Category: General

I passed my D1 minibus licence 🙂 This makes me very happy because I have a mild brain injury and this shows I can still learn and achieve new things.

It is quite a faffy thing to do because of the limited number of driving schools that do D1 licences. The law in the area of what counts and what does not is very fuzzy with many unclear cases.

For many people it’s unclear if you need to apply for a category D1 licence to drive a minibus. If you passed your UK drivers licence before 1997 you get a D1 for free. You don’t need it if your minibus is under 3.5 tonnes max load and you are not driving it for “hire or reward” (and are over 21, had your licence for two years). We phoned up the DVLA complaint center and asked if I could drive the bus and they said it was fine to do so, which it wasn’t, so even the DVLA don’t understand the rules. Then there’s a section 19 permit which lets some non-commercial organisations let people drive and be paid but again only under 3.5 tonnes max load busses. The definition of “hire or reward” is very unclear as a general point of law and it’s unclear if it covers a sports club such as mine where you have to pay membership or if it covers fuel expenses. I’m told that North Lanarkshire do not require their drivers to have a D1 while South Lanarkshire do which shows how unclear the rules are.

To start with you need a D4 medical form signed from your doctor, which costs about £100. This tests your eyesight and general health.

Then you need to apply for a provisional licence. Pleasingly this is free.

Now you need to do a theory test for a PCV. A PCV is a fancy name for a bus: a Passenger Carrying Vehicle. (Cost £35). Incidentally the fancy name for a lorry is LGV for Large Good Vehicle now, for some reason the term HGV for Heavy Goods Vehicle is deprecated. The theory test is much the same as for a car, lots of multiple choice questions.

A read over of the Official DSA Theory Test for Large Vehicles will tell you all you need to know. (Cost £11.50) It’s in the building of a company called Pearson in Union Street in Edinburgh and you sit at a computer and click on answers then get your result straight away.

There is also a separate hazard perception test (Cost £15) you need to book onto then go on another day to the Pearson centre and click. There are a few websites that show the sample videos (probably illegally) but in low quality which meant I didn’t get a high mark on any of the websites, but the real videos are in higher quality so I passed without a problem. It’s quite easy to pass, you don’t get marked down for clicking if there’s no hazard so you just click every time something moves and you’ll get it fine.

Now you need to get some minibus driver training. There are only two options for minibus learning near Edinburgh that I could find.

The first is CTTS (commercial transport training services) run by a guy called Jim and his associate Jim in Bathgate. They do two half days training and an assessment day for £690. I went on their training and assessment but screwed up on the first assessment with not joining a dual carrageway properly and making another vehicle slow down, tsk. I went for another assessment with them but this time they screwed up and gave me an incorrect time for the assessment. Although I made it to the test centre in time I wasn’t in a state of mind to pass and failed straight away. I refused to pay so alas fell out with one or both of the Jims.

I found a guy who trades as Drive me Bananas who seemed friendly on the phone and can do the training but doesn’t have a bus to train in. Can I use my bus to train in? Yes but not to assess in because the assessment needs it to be over 4 tonnes and with special mirrors for the assessor to use. Can I hire one? No hire companies don’t let provisional drivers in their busses and they’d still need the mirrors.

Looking around for other instructors all I could find is GTG (used to be Glasgow Training Garage I think) which is a company owned by Arnold Clark and do a bunch of workplace training courses in computers, management, driving and vehicle mechanics. I think many of the students are Arnold Clark’s own apprentices. They only have one minibus in Scotland which is based in Glasgow so I had to go through to Glasgow for an initial assessment (cost £39). They said my driving was perfectly good and recommended I only have one lesson to tidy it up and then go for assessment. They charged me a hefty £800 for a full day’s training and following day’s assessment. Fortunately I could go to their site by Hermiston Gate in Edinburgh for the main training. Turns out they just contracted out the training to Billy Copeland who came through from Ayrshire for it (so it would probably much cheaper to go direct to him). Billy gave me an intensive one day of training after which I was knackered but learnt a bunch of important things.

Things I learnt were…

• Check your left mirror after every fourth parked car and after any notable hazard or potential hazard, this is the follow through
• When overtaking a vehicle on the motorway time yourself against a marker by saying “only a fool breaks the two second rule” and watch in mirror when the overtaken vehicle passes it, only move back in if it’s a 2 second gap.
• Don’t be afraid to make progress, once you’ve passed a hazard you should be aiming to get up to the speed limit
• Stop at lights so you can still see the white line in your windscreen
• Use the wide angle mirror on the wing mirrors when joining a motorway
• when going round a blind corner on a single track road (or a bridge) beep your horn twice to let oncoming drivers know you’re there
• on a single track roundabout keep central in the lane to discourage over or under-taking
• when stopping put on hand break then neautral
• Put on sidelights when driving a minibus, since 2011 vehicles have sidelights that are always on anyway

Then it’s time for the test. Get the official guide to driving buses and coaches for £10.87. This is held at the VOSA test centre in Livingston. The test starts with a few verbal theory questons: show me where the fire extinguisher is, show me and tell me the maximum passanger limits, tell me about the tyre treat (needs to be 1.6mm for a minibus although all the books say 1mm which is for full size busses), tell me how to test the oil level (engine needs to be cool, take dip stick and wipe clean, put in out again and read).

Next there is a reversing maneuver in the test center where you go forward past a parking cone then reverse to meet a point beside your starting point. It’s simple but surprisingly easy to get disorientated and make a mistake.

There is an hour long drive although it feels like three hours because it needs a lot of concentration. The driving has to be a high standard of course. The instructors have a number of test routes that go through the fun variety of streets nearby, village high streets, school, residential, rural streets, dual carrageways, motorways, and lots and lots of roundabouts. There’s a couple of maneuvers, you need to stop at the side of the road and you need to stop at a bus stop as if to pick up passengers. Again these are simple but it’s easy to forget a part of the maneuvers. After picking up passengers you much check your central rear view mirror to check your passengers are all seated and once moving off you need to check your left mirror again to check nobody has held onto the door that you are about to drag along the road.

When you return to base the assessor spends a minute on his paperwork while you sweat and get either an “I’m afraid you haven’t passed” or “I’m please to tell you you have passed” and then you go over any faults you made.

Anyone driving for hire or reward (whatever that means) must do a Driver CPC test every few years which involves another theory test involving case studies and a practical test involving discussing how to stop illegal immigrants playing stowaway on your bus. There is also a Midas test which many local authorities did use but I think that’s obsolete (although like much of this it’s unclear).

Total cost £1702.31. Golly. Obviously it would have been £800 cheaper if I’d passed first time and probably if I’d found someone other than GTG to use but they did get me to pass the test.

If you want to take a trailer over 750Kg you need to do another test D1+E which involves a similar practical test. There are approximately no trainers in Scotland who can train this.

I feel I am a better driver for doing this and I don’t begrudge the government for making me do it but I am surprised at the lack of driving schools who can train you, goodness knows what schools will do when their older teachers die out.

I’m now a 3 star white water assessor. This has been a long time coming, I’ve had to do: 4 star WW training, White Water Safety and Rescue, 4 Star WW Assessment, UKCC Level 1 including Foundation Safety and Rescue, UKCC Level 2 Training,child protection, first aid, LTPD crap web quiz, UKCC Level 2 Assessment, Moderate water endorcement training, Moderate water endorcement assessment, observe some 3 stars and run a 3 star. And after all that I’m still not convinced I’m quite as good as I’d like to be as a coach and assessor. Partly because I had my head bashed around. When I wanted to do this last year I went on one of the 3 star observations and left my kit at home, a bit of a clue I wasn’t quite ready in the head.

The assessment I was running was organised by Kate (much thanks) and overseen by Steve L (much thanks). After some introductions I took them on the water and ran through the personal paddling skills with them. I did most of it on both still and moving water. Although it doesn’t indicate it in the syllabus or the training notes the personal paddling skills are intended to be on flat water only (except break in and ferry glide). Well always nice to challenge the candidates I suppose. It’s hard to make the judgement between a good draw and a mediocre draw, being a nice guy who doesn’t like to displease people I always seem to err on the side of being good but I should be a bit more strict. It’s also hard to ensure everyone does everything on both sides which is required. Lots of keep in the head, even if you have a waterproof notebook to take notes. At three star level the personal paddling skills on flat water should be of a high standard so it’s best for the assessor to err on assuming they’re not good enough for the flat water bits.

There’s a requirement to use a throw line in 3 star which wasn’t the case when I did mine 20 years ago. It doesn’t say it needs to be on moving water, neither of my observed 3 stars were but Steve L says it is the case.

The candidates have to show good group and personal awareness on grade 1 water and be led down grade 2. I’m a little unsure of the best way to get them to show good awareness, I think I need to ask them more and do some more challenges on this than I did. Maybe ask them how they’d do a rapid then watch three of them go down a simple rapid with some break ins/outs.

I asked the group to ascent up a simple bit of water because I’m sure I remember seeing it in the notes but now I can’t find it. Maybe my imagination.

3 star is a lot like 1 star in that it’s a bit of an encouragement award so say welcome to canoeing. I’m glad I can now welcome people to moving water with a nice certificate. I wonder what my next challenge will be – maybe I’ll get into surf.

Warning: bitchy blog post…

In Edinburgh tenement flats are communally owned. The stair, outside wall, drains, roof and garden and all owned and maintained equally by every flat. There’s no factor or English style freeholder to take care of it. I really like the spirit of this, everyone should look after their own property and share the effort. In practice it ends up as a tragedy of the commons. Nobody bothers to maintain anything and so the garden goes to ruin and the roof and walls start to fall apart. When I was ill the winter before last I stopped sweeping the stairwell. Before long the chip packets started to build up and you had to trample through the cigarette ends to get out. Nobody has much of a community spirit alas, tenants just expect their landlord to do cleaning but most of the flats are owned by absentee landlords who couldn’t care about the state as long as the rent is coming in. Eventually the only other owner-occupier in the stair did sort out the messy stairwell, by calling a company to do it and charge everyone for cleaning. Another way would be following those people who say: We buy houses Orange Park FL, and go get happy there. But we are still here and that was better than doing nothing I suppose.

Last year I got a grumpy letter from one of my absentee-landlord neighbours saying repairs needed to be done and could we please agree to doing them. As the only person in the stair who takes and interest in his own home I got asked to show around the roofers who had been called out to give a quote, not easy when you have severe head trauma. After a while the absentee-landlord said we should just agree to the first quote and everyone else agreed but it was up to me to point out the quote was for entirely the wrong work. So I had to take up the task and find the missing quote from a roofer and hassle all my neighbours into agreeing to it. Our nice Scottish Parliament has passed a tenement act which means decisions can be taken by a majority vote so I got that and proceeded. Nobody else offered to help and I even got one neighbour saying “why don’t you just call X”, which made me grumpy “because I have a brain injury, why don’t you” was my reply.

Work done I had to hassle all my neighbours for money. Some paid quickly, some sent cheques (what millenium is this?) and some had to be hassled a few times before paying in cash. Which all left one – Brian Porteous. This absentee landlord is the worst sort, a product of the Blair government where energy was best put into not doing useful things but mortgaging the future to bring in the money quick. He never took part at all in the discussions about the repairs and there was a loud silence from him. He has set himself up as a company called BJP Properties and rented out the flat underneath mine through his son’s company Cruz Property Management. He is also the director of Berwick Rangers Football Club. After not getting a reply I stopped off at his house, it has a large electric gate that can’t be opened except with the right remote key. It has a fountain and a gnome in the front garden. Next door lives his son, Callum Porteous who had a Cruz Property Management van in the driveway. Despite owning a property management company he had never got back to me once about the repairs. Callum doesn’t have an electric gate on his house so I could walk into that one and through the gate between them to his dad’s house to knock on the door. No reply alas so I had to write a letter and put it through the post box. A few days later with no reply I posted a letter. Then at last a reply, Callum e-mailed to say he was no longer the agent and this had nothing to do with him. I replied pointing out he was the registered agent on the government database and I asked he walk next door to the owner to tell him to pay up. That even got a reply from the main man Brian Porteous. He said he’d never agreed to any repairs and I’d need to send him the paperwork and I should sue him if I wanted to.

So after many follow up e-mails and phone calls with no reply I went to the Sheriff court today to file a small claims summons. It’ll be interesting to see if he shows up to it or not.

It makes me wonder in what possible way it’s socially acceptable to own a property company and not look after the property. Brain Porteous should be prohibited from being a company director and Callum Porteous should find an economically useful business to work in.

This year’s SCA Club and Volunteer Conference didn’t have as much in the way of certificates as previous years but I did do the full day classroom qualifications of Coastal Navigation and Tidal Planning. I’ve been wanting to do this for a while to improve my knowledge of sea paddling theory and of maps in general. It covers what you need to know about the weather, reading Admiralty or other navigation charts as well as OS maps and planning for tide heights and currents. Our tutor was Mark McKerral from Paddle Lochaber, who was excellent.

Here’s some notes for my own reference and anyone else who cares to read.

Doing this safety course is needed for a 4 star and is part of the remit to lead a session in moderate water which on the sea means: up to force 4 winds, 2 nautical miles off the coast and a tide speed of 2 knots.

Places to get weather information are websites from the BBC and the Met Office. Met Office gives shipping, inshore waters, synoptic/pressure and general forcasts. Inshore waters is most interesting to us as coastal paddlers. XCweather.co.uk and windfinder are also good. Magic Seaweed website gives surf predictions and swell charts. You can also call a Coastguard and ask or listen to a VHF radio broadcast.

A weather front is where hot and cold air meet. Warm air holds moisture and cold releases it.

Anabatic winds is a sea breeze, when the land is heated by the sun causing hot air to rise and colder air from the sea to blow in. Katabatic winds is the opposite.

Sea fog appears when warm air (carrying moisture) drifts over a cold sea.

Shipping forcast on Radio 4 gives: general warnings, general synopsis then area info. Area is wind direction, wind force, sea state and visibility. Radio 4 also gives an inshore waters forcast. Rottray to Berwick is the area I care about covering the Firth of Forth. Sea State is the Douglas scale and covers wave height:calm is < 10cm, smooth is < 50cm, slight < 1.25m then moderate, rough phenomenal. Words are deceptively gentle sounding for a sea kayak. Sea navigation charts (maps) are made by Admiralty (part of the UK Hydrographic Office) and Imray (commercial company). They cover the depths in metres. 1 nautical mile is 1.8km which is close to 2km for casual purposes. 1 minute of arc of latitude (or longitude at the equator) on the earth is 1 nautical mile. nautical miles are used rather than km because on mercator maps the scale changes depending on your distance to the equator but 1' can easily be found on the scale at the side of the map. OS Landranger maps are useful too. They have a little known latitude and longitude scale on the outside of the map, it uses a different grid (skewed to OS national grid) with small blue crosses across the map to mark it. A divider is a tool like a school maths set compass which is useful for measuring distances on a map. Various places to measure a tide from: MHWS (mean high water at springs), MHWN (mean high water at neaps), MSL (mean sea level, used by OS maps), Drying Height (hight of something covered for some of the time by the tide), MLWS (mean low water at springs), CD is usually Lowest Astronomical Tide (a theoretical minimum tide level). Moon takes 24 hours and 50 minutes to go round the earth so cycle of tides is a little longer than a day. Spring tides are high & low tides when sun is aligned to the moon. 7 days later are neap tides - less high/low tides. At the equinoxes there are larger tides and at the solstices there are smaller tides. Rule of constants in tides - the difference in time between high tide at 2 spots is always the same (except when it isn't). Rule of 12th, a rule of thumb for the tide hights, 1st hour height rises 1/12th of total, 2nd hour -> 2/12ths, 3rd hour -> 3/12ths, 4 hour -> 3/12ths, 5 hour -> 2/12ths, 6 hour -> 1/12ths (a total rise of 12/12ths)

Tide Races are caused by constrictions. Overfalls are generally formed when a rock is under the water in a constriction.

Overfall at the Falls of Lora, Oban.

When wind is against the tide it makes more waves (smaller waves if wind with tide).

High baromatic pressure also makes tides less high.

Proxigean tides are when lots of factors combine to make very high tides, sprints with equinox with meterological with perigee (near moon).

Rule of Thirds is a rule of thumb for the speed of the tide. middle of 1st hour -> 1/3 full speed, 2nd hour -> 2/3rds, 3rd hour -> 3/3rds, 4th hour -> 3/3rds, 5th hour -> 2/3rds, 6th hour -> 1/3rds.

50/90 rule is another rule of thumb for tide speed. 1st hour ends at 50% of speed, 2nd hour at 90%, 3rd hour at 100%, 4th hour at 90%, 5th hour at 50% and 6th hour at 0%

A journey planner needs to know the tide current speed, distance, paddling speed.

Use guide books or nautical tables to find the tide high water/low water and resulting current speed at any point.

I went on an Outdoor First Aid course at Lowport in Linlithgow with John Lewis to give my first aid knowledge the required three year refresh. First aid courses come in various shapes and forms. I’ve always considered the 3 hour evening courses to be useless, there’s so much to learn and practice you couldn’t hope to cover it in an evening. A two day course lets you spend a day learning things and another day practicing scenarios. This was a refresh course so we went straight away into scenarios to remind us what we knew and show us what we did not know.

Here’s my notes for my own use and anyone else who wants to read them..

On finding a casualty without much conciousness a primary examination is: DRSAB (doctor’s AB) for Danger, Response, Shout, Airway, Breathing. Look for any nearby dangers, ask victim for a response,shout for help, check their airway is clear by tilting the head back and check they are breathing. Then call 999/112.

The recovery position stops them chocking on their tongue and their own vomit.

If you find a victim on a slope best to rotate them to be along the slope to keep right blood pressure throughout body.

When checking breath check for speed, depth, sporadic, sounds (gargling, wheezy, snoring, agonal gasps).

Ambulances usually don’t know how to do grid references. They’ll want the age and number of casualties.

After DRSAB do a secondary examination. Use hands to check for blood/breakages around head, along arms, press on four quadrants of stomach, along legs, tap the feet, check pupils, ears.

Rest breathing is about 10/min and pulse is about 60-100 per minute.

Alertness can be measured in AVPU – Alert (normal), Voice (can talk a bit), Pain (can respond to pain), Unresponsive

Seizure: make comfy. Call ambulance if > 2 minutes, first time or complications.

Hypothermia: signs are shivering, blue/grey face, slow and unresponsive. Warm up with drink, clothes, heat (but not too fast).

If unconcious person vomiting hold face on far side from you and roll away.

CPR: chest compressions more important than breaths. For adults do deep compressions 5-6cm and 2 per second (110 per minute,Yellow Submarine speed). Do up to 30 compressions then 2 breaths. For child or drowing breaths are more important so start with 5 breaths.

Stroke: FAST. Face 1/2 working, Arm not raising as well as other arm, Slurred speech, Time to call an ambulance. Often mistaken for being drunk.

Asthma: blue inhaler is reliever (other colours are 1 a day steroid preventers). Triggered by physical effort and cold.

Hyperventilation: can cause dizzyness (body needs some CO2 to get oxygen through). If they pass out that’s ok as will regulate.

Chocking: slap on back 5 times in direction of top of throat. If not working do abdominal thrusts (then get checked over for organ failure).

Drowning: usually caused by small amounts of water, also dry drowning can cause spasms. Secondary downing possible hours or days after first incident so call ambulance.

Heat exhaution: wear a sun hat, take lots of fluids, use shade, cool down with water. Can become heat stroke: slurred speech, disorientated, headache, stop sweating – get outside help.

Burns: 10 minutes under cold water. Cover in cling film, no creams, no sticky material, don’t remove burnt clothing, don’t pop blisters, avoid touching, go to hospital if > hand size or facial or genetal.

Broken leg: use other leg as splint, pad out with towels and bags.

Slings can be elevation sling where hand on shoulder or support. Second rope can be needed to stop swinging arm.

Soft tissue injury (sprains, staved fingers etc) RICE: Rest, Ice, Comfort, Elevation.

First aid kit: I need more dressings, casualty report form, gloves, pencil, crepe bandage, mars bars, steri strips, paracetamol, compeed blister packs.

It’s my birthday and Facebook does the function that it is best at, getting birthday wishes from many nice people around the world.

I’ve had severe head trauma for the last year, confusingly called in the US a mild brain injury, and alas it’s not fixed yet. The symptoms are very random, sometimes I get very fatigued and need to sleep, sometimes I get head aches that can’t be touched by any combination of drugs, sometimes I just need to lie down and stare into space, sometimes I run out of breath and sometimes I’m entirely fine. Sometimes I go to sleep early, sometimes late, sometimes I get up early, sometimes late. Sometimes I can cycle out to ratho and go climbing for a few hours, other times I have trouble leaving the house.

My eyes still have double vision, they’ve been healing slowly which is annoying because it’ll still need surgery one day but they can’t give it yet incase it overcorrects. Maybe next month.

Time moves faster is the most curious symptom, it’s evening before I expect it’s afternoon, the months finish before they should and a year has gone by before I noticed it had.

The Department of Work and Pensions are supposed to refund my hospital costs from France but they have a presumably deliberately inefficient system which has taken a year to tell me I sent the wrong paperwork, I do wish the government would just be honest about not wanting to pay for it.

I’ve travelled for work to California, Copenhagen and Tallin, tiring but rewarding. The forest in Tallin is just like a fairy tale, the cargo ships of Oakland are impressive and Copenhagen just does the right thing when it comes to bikes. I’ve even visited the tourist traps in England of Long Eaton and Manchester. I love visiting friends around the world or having people visit me, thanks Paul, Chris, Ryan, Roman, Natalie and especially Beth who has done ever so much looking after me. My new employer expects to open an office in Barcelona soon which I’m really looking forward to, that’ll be a commute worth doing.

I’ve achieved a number of things this year. Starting with fixing the roof of my house, not a big achievement but interesting that I can do it when none of the 10 other owners of the building can (most of them running it as a commercial business). My first foreign trip involved organising KDE’s presence at FOSDEM, on the way home I actually collapsed on the train after running for a late connection but it felt good to be helping people. I spent a lot of time looking into a potential new site for my canoe club, that ended up with lying and incompetent politicians and civil servants but I did stop Scottish Canals from kicking us out our current building and moving us to the edge of the city by shouting at them, extra aggressiveness from head trauma coming in useful there maybe. I ran the biggest canoe slalom there has ever been in Scotland, that was too much. I changed employer, I reasoned this was easier than changing job as my old employer wanted me too, a good choice I think although the transitional details have been stressful from my old employer.

Targets for next year I think will be to get Kubuntu working well on tablets for work. And get back into running some canoe trips for leisure. I’ve recently started some driving under guidance again, it’s tiring so I need to be careful but I’m a careful sort. Weirdly the DVLA gave me the all clear to drive after a peripheral vision test – I have twice as much peripheral vision as before not less, the actual issue is reaction times which they don’t seem to care about. Mostly I need to take things easy, grab the maximum enjoyment I can and do more gentle exercise, I have a habit of doing none when I feel poor and doing too much when I feel good.

How to Recover: Comebacks from Traumatic Brain Injury is a great blog I follow. Brainlash is a great book. I wish the neurologist had pointed me at these when I had my only appointment instead of an unhelpful “he’ll recover, I hope” letter. There’s not much can be done for head trauma but information to cope would be the obvious thing, it took me 10 months to find out that NHS Lothian even made their own useful leaflets on the topic. I’ve been referred to a rehabilitation consultant but I’ve not heard back from them and I don’t know what they can do anyway.

Now a couple of weeks of parties and gatherings but mostly I’ll be relaxing. If I seem unfriendly or disinterested at all, it’s just a normal symptom of head trauma, keep those birthday wishes coming it’s much appreciated. I’m looking forward to another year of randomness.

My riddell@gmail address continues to get all sort of e-mails intended for other people called Riddell. Today I had the first chat with someone and ended up giving her advise on bronchiectasis. It’s nice to be able to help people.

Previously on Riddellleaks: Foreign Office Invites me to Security Meeting, RiddellLeaks – Foreign Office Latest.

15:02 Su: Peep po!
me: hello
15:03 Su: just looking at who was online and thought I’d say hello
15:04 me: howdy, do I know you?
7 minutes
15:11 me: oh well, guess not 🙂
15:12 Su: sorry, Phil has popped in and was just chatting to us
whilst your there. May I ask your advice on a Mum issue?
15:13 me: umm, ok
5 minutes
15:18 Su: A couple of weeks ago, she had a home visit by her GP. He said that her lungs are failing. I called her last night and on asking how she was got the usual angry response “I feel ill”. I asked what was wrong and she repeated that her lungs are failing, and she was worried about the xmas break. I suggested I phone her GP to find out more about her lung failure (thinking I would also get a prognosis). She flew into a rage saying she forbad me to contact him. My probably is that she tells me she is seriously ill before every time we go away. Do you know anything about lung failure – is it a long term or sudden condition?
15:21 me: I expect there could be any number of reasons for lung failure, not one condition
15:22 Su: she has bronchiectiis
15:23 me: NHS england has some info here http://www.nhsinform.co.uk/health-library/articles/b/bronchiectasis/introduction
15:24 bacterial infection
needs antibiotics
15:25 unlikely to lead to sudden failure if she’s got antibiotics
without knowing you or your mum it’s probably not wise for me to advise more
15:26 Su: Sorry it was unfair to ask.
The NHS site is very useful
5 minutes
15:31 Su: Have a lovely xmas, and watch out for the re-launch of the Westerb fan site on Facebook!
15:32 me: thanks, I shall, although I don’t know what that is and I don’t know you on facebook
15:33 maybe you want S Riddell? she seems to be a facebook friend of yours
15:36 Su: Thank you very much for your advice, and patience. I am sorry I that I have just twigged that you are complete stranger to me!!!!!
me: no bother 🙂
15:37 Su: Well we’ve given my colleagues a good laugh – happy christmas and good bye!!

Today I subscribed to heraldscotland.com. Being the self-righteous type I give to various charities and good causes monthly and I consider this to be the same. Newspapers are losing readers fast as people either read them on the internet or stop bothering to care about the news. Newspapers are responding to this by either moving into sensation tabloidism ending in scandals like phone hacking or re-printing articles from agencies and other papers (churnalism is the term). So I think it’s up to everyone to support decent newspapers while they still exist. I buy the Sunday Herald every week because it has genuinely interesting and original articles, it’s Scottish and has good design. But that’s still nothing compared to my parent’s generation who buy newspapers every day of the week.

The Herald’s website heraldscotland.com recently required a registration after 5 articles and subscription after 10. It’s only £35 a year (or £3 every 4 weeks) which I recon is very cheap. However when charging for something that used to be free, and is freely available from many competitors, something more should be given. You still get annoying flashing adverts which I would have expected to disappear when subscribing. And the need for a subscription is trivially worked around anyway by just deleting the site’s cookies in your browser. The subscription has a joint option with the daily Herald but I’m not Glaswegian and only want to read the Sunday Herald yet there’s no subscription option for that. It’s good to help responsible journalism but I think to be at all sustainable they need to give us readers more of a reason to subscribe.

At the end of November I was misfortunate enough to end up with severe traumatic head trauma and double vision. After 2.5 months the signs are good for a recovery.

Severe traumatic head injury is when you get a nasty shock to the head and end up in a coma for 1 day to 2 weeks (I was out for 3 days). Waking up from a coma is not like in films, I had two days in a delirium gradually realising I wasn’t dreaming and something was up. My nice flatmate and dad came and rescued me from that.

Back in Scotland the NHS (remember it’s independent here, no playing around with it as David Cameron is doing in England) gave me an MRI scan to check my brain had no dead patches in it, fortunately there were not.

However there are no magic drugs for brain trauma, a lot of neurons need to get rebuilt so it just needs a long slow recovery. My cognitive abilities have been improving nicely week by week. I used to be tired at just thinking about something brain intensive like programming, now I can manage it pretty well. My context switching ability (which allows for multi-tasking) was initially very slow but is now much better. My concious spelling (when you are thinking about spelling not just writing it without thinking) did not work at all but is now coming back.

I get tired easily, as with any illness your body needs to force you to rest more. Initially I went to bed early each night, now I don’t feel the need so much. Good manners take more energy too so I get grumpy and snappy after a day spent organising people or when I’ve been in the cold for too long.

The other part of my illness is a stretched muscle in my eye giving me double vision. This too has no miracle cures and just needs a long slow recovery. I have one lense of my glasses taped over which prevents double vision. But since I don’t use glasses much and they cause a bit of strain on my eyes when used with a computer I bought an eye patch. You can not buy decent eye patches in Europe as far as I can tell, only cheap ones which aren’t comfortable to wear for several months at a time. So I had to get one from an american medaeval recreation costume company.

The eye patch is the most obvious sign I have a (presumably temporary) disability. Most people have never come across such a medical issue before and so act in one of the following options: ignore it and forever wonder why I’m dressed like a pirate, ask politely why I’m dressed like a pirate, joke and go yarr. Even the neurology doctor I went to see had the “nice pirate costume” reaction. This is all fine and perfectly understandable. Only drunk people grate because they can not moderate their tone of voice to make it friendly enough. If you ever see a disabled person when drunk, just stay quiet.

The most curious reaction I’ve had was “I wouldn’t treat you like a disabled person.” What this means is “I wouldn’t treat you like a wheelchair user” and shows a lack of understanding of limited ability/disability which means so much more than wheelchair users. When you meet a disabled person do not modify your language or act self-conscious, just modify your actions as you work out their abilities. If in doubt ask politely.

Only being able to use one eye at a time means I have no depth perception. Out goes canoe polo games since I can’t catch or throw at all reliably. Also stairs feel very dangerous, especially those without handrails. Most stairs in the UK have handrails because of the great disability legislation we have here. In Belgium by contrast they do not and they consider it acceptable to close off disabled toilets with signs pointing at the less-accessible toilets.

Keeping up top psychosomatic health is important during a long recovery. This means the relationship between good body health and good mental health. My good friend Beth came up and helped me do a deep clean (“spring clean”) of the flat, good housing has a very strong relationship to good health. She also cooked lots of chilie bean mix and put it in lots of bags in the freezer, this is a nice easy way to get back into cooking (which I had to stop doing because of lack of energy), add a bag, add some carbohydrate and boil away. Lovely.

I’ve also been taking alexander lessons from my mum, this is nice and relaxing but also helps with long term posture which I find it hard to keep right when I’m low on energy. And Eddy the canoeist has been using me as a test run for his massage course which works out nicely. Psychosematic health is also helped by a placaebo which feels like real medicine as long as you choose to believe so I’ve been taking homeopathic pills.

Thanks to everyone who has been helping!

Here’s another attempt at explaining a problem most people doesn’t realise and very few can be bothered with.

Until fairly recently there was no standard file formats for office
documents such as word processing, spreadsheets and presentations.
This ment every software package used their own file format. Having
no standard (in any industry) means one company will gain a monopoly
because there is no way to interchange and MS Office ended up on top.

There is now a standardised file format (OpenDocument) which is well
documented and has lots of programmes to read it. Alas few people
care (no reason they should, computers are tools and not everyone is a
geek) so Microsoft still have a near-monopoly.

OpenOffice etc can read MS formats but it takes up such a huge part of
our developer resources that it’s very much in Microsoft’s interests
to keep making them complex so we can’t compete with them by spending
time on useful features.

Governments should support standards to prevent monopolies and
discrimination and are often required to and so should quangos like
yourselves. The EU requires use of OpenDocument instead of MS Office
formats but often don’t follow their own guidelines.

OpenDocument (.odt, .ots etc) works great as is native with
LibreOffice, OpenOffice, Calligra, Google Docs and numberous other
programmes but alas MS only has a half hearted implementation for MS
Office so many people can’t use it without hassle. So the best way
currently to offer standards without causing people hassle is to use
long established file formats like HTML or PDF.

I had an accident on Guadeloupe’s roads and spent some days in hospital. I don’t have a memory of the incident which means I’ll never know for sure what the cause of it was. The hospital looked after me as they would with any A&E victim then sent me home. They gave me a scan but they sent me home with the results which I then left in a taxi so I don’t know what they discovered there. The polis initially wanted me to stay for alcohol testing but then let me go home with my dad. So I took a quickly booked flight throught Paris back to Edinburgh. I’ve since been told thay my eyes are a bit of of line and I need to have one covered until it recovers. A shame since I’ll never get more into wave ski now or surf ski or exploring more of the mangroves. I need plenty of rest to recover and to gently get back into Kubuntu usefulness. Goodbye French Guadeloupe, I’ll miss you.

The problem:

The solution:

Tennis here is played with a raquette anti-moustique which uses mosquitoes instead of tennis balls. It makes a satisfying electric spark when you hit one.

It’s tricky to find things to go in Guadeloupe. Not because there aren’t many things to do, they are just not advertised, or when they are there’s no way of findings out when and where they might be. The idea of having an up to date website with a usable map on it does not seem to fit in with the island’s laid back lifestyle. My own house is on a street without a name for example, there really is no way to look up on the internet where the house is. On the positive side the bus service is not as bad I had been rumoured. The busses might not have a timetable but they do show up at fairly frequent intervals, they do give you change, they all go to the Gare in the central town of Pointe-a-Pitre where you can change to another one. They also play fun and loud Caribbean music all the time so even if it takes an hour to get anywhere it feels like a bit of a party while they do it. They don’t however run on weekends, or past 6 o’clock on weekdays which makes them pretty useless for most leisure activities.

However I did make it to the Xeme Panamerican Jeux de Surf which is heavily advertised. As usual with Gwada the best description of a location you can get is the name of a beach, but no maps have beach names on them. So I took a bus to the nearest town and wandered around until I found the beach somewhere on the outskirts. The competitors from the 20-odd countries were all waiting on the beach ready for something to happen. After a couple of hours something did with the first competitors being called. The first competition was Body Boarding. Now I’m not convinced that board surfing in general lives up to its sand-and-sex reputation but body boarding seems especially tame even for surfers. The competitors are in heats with 3 or 4 surfers in each and 20 minutes to do the best moves you can. 15 minutes into the first heat I’m getting worried that nothing is happening but then a large wave comes and the surfers manage some 360 rolls and spins. Next up is the real board surfers, they do manage some impressive twists and turns including a very nice mid-air 360 which was disqualified because he didn’t surf away from it. Actually I’m impressed they can stand up at all. Later I play a game of hide-the-illegally-purchased-beer-from-the-gendarmerie. Fun and games.

Panamerican Jeux de Surf

Naturally I’ve been looking for canoe clubs in Guadeloupe. There’s a handy government website called guadeloupe-sport.com which gives a boilerplate text to describe canoeing obviously taken from the Federation Francais de Canoe-Kayak because it includes discipines that are not possible here such as slalom or river running. It lists many clubs but only sometimes bothers to list anything other than a name. The only club with a website is two years out of date (and looks like it was made in 1995). So I hired a car and drove to St Francois where the local club hold and elite looking Surf Ski race each year. The building at the marina says “Kayak de Mer” on the outside but when I enquire how one gets to Kayak le mer I’m met with uncertain glances and a reply of “je ne sais pas”. It seems they don’t actually do anything with kayaks except hold the elite race.

So instead I make my way to the Sunset Surf Camp which is the only hostel on the island, and a very cool one at that. Unlike any of the other surf schools its website has clear instructions on how to learn some surfing, turn up at 9 o’clock and join in. Guadeloupe has a lot of rock reefs a few dozen meters off-shore which shelter the beaches from the large waves and create excellent surfing conditions while they are at it. So after a brief theory lesson we were swimming out to the reef. Board surfing involves a lot of swimming, which is hard work (the boards are heavy) and gives you a pain in your neck because you are lying down and looking up for waves to avoid. Then you have to swim even harder to have any hope of catching a wave. I catch one and it’s fun, skimming along with water just below my face. The next progression is standing up. I can’t do it. I can get on my knees but beyond that the board insists on tipping over sideways. After two hours I’m still no nearer standing up. A fun sport but alas far too much effort to reward ratio.

Next day I drive to a town called Le Moule where rumour has it there is an elite canoe club. Again with nothing more than a beach name to go on I drive around and find it on the outskirts of town. I enquire within but am told it’s lunch time and I should come back in a couple of hours, closing for lunch is normal in France and they close twice as long in Guadeloupe. During this enforced lunch break I am amazed to see a school of fish jumping out the water half a dozen times in succession. A choir sings songs in Creole to keep me entertained. After lunch I’m told yes there’s a club here, yes they do interesting things, come along first thing in the morning. Truly a tropical paradise.

Manu and Molem-Gliss sea paddlers

Mornings start early in Gwada, 7:30 in this case, I presume because they don’t have any light in the evenings. We load up the trailer with a bunch of sea kayaks and head south where a group of about 20 post-middle aged adults paddle along the coast through beautiful green water. The swell is large and some of the older members of the group end up off course but we steer them back together again. We find a small white sand beach and splash around for a while before heading back to the launch site past a hundred palm trees. Over Caribbean beers I am chin-chined for being the first Ecossais in the club.

Another enforced two hour lunch in which the only shop in town open selling anything edible is the bookmakers. I join a group for an entirely new activity, waveski. Waveskis are surf boards with seats and foot holds that you paddle. After the comfort of the sea kayak I find it wobbly and hard to control. Especially since I have nothing to brace against with my knees, only a seat-belt and foot straps to keep you in place. We paddle out to the surf, a group of about 15 boys, aged 10 to 16, plus Moul, the club’s famous Champion de Waveski Français. After some false starts I catch my first wave, the “boat” is super-responsive with the bow entirely out the water. I slide down the wave, back up again then try to gracefully come off the back of the wave but with no knee grips I fall straight in. Amazingly I manage to eskimo roll it only to fail to understand the momentum and roll straight back in again. On my next wave to do even worse and capsize immediately. After a few more waves I work out the trick, in kayaks you lean forwards to get more stability from your knees, in waveskis it seems you need to lean back to get more stability from your feet. By the end of the session I am catching them without fear of falling in. The surf setup at the Molem-Gliss canoe club in Le Moule is excellent, the reef is only 100 metres from the boathouse, there is a safety zone where you can paddle out to behind the waves and there are two sections with smaller and larger waves to give an option for your comfort. I have discovered an excellent new branch of canoeing.

My camera broke so no photos of me or Gwada waveskiers, but here is a generic photo to keep you entertained.

The nights were drawing in, the days cold and dark, the green man had done battle with the winter queen and lost. Time to fly away.

Florida was fun with my Kubuntu community and friends, the mickey mouse burgers, the free alcohol, chlorinated waterfalls and specs written. I could go home to the cold and the dark or I could go on. I choose on. I fly south over blue seas and tropical islands. At Puerto Rico my body is met with a wall of warmth. A strange land this: half American, half Hispanic, half Carribean. The pace of life noticably slower, the queues longer. I take what food I can from the airport lounge and fly on. More islands pass, the clouds of cotton wool floating by.

You can pick your food out of the sea here.

Guadeloupe appears through the clouds, green and fertile. No wall of heat this time, the plane is already warm. At customs comes my first test of French, will I understand? Words fail, they wave me through. Outside nobody is waiting for me, worry sets in, a foreign land and nobody to help, maybe my colocatiere does not exist, maybe there is no house and my money is gone. She appears, smiling and friendly, speaking impenetrable French. “Plus lentement s’il te plait.” I understand. I can converse. Je suis un francophone.

A beach in tropical paradise

The house exists, my studio flat has all I need. The dogs and cats are friendly. The swimming pool compact but pleasant. Carrefour is a drive away, a city to commercialism, I buy Guadaloupe sauces and fruits. Life here is expensive but various. We enjoy Guadeloupe food, the savoury fried bananas tasty, the chicken done to perfection. The beach is covered in palm trees, the sun strong but the shade welcoming. The sea is warm like I have never swum in before, a hot bath of blue.

Why Guadeloupe I am asked. No paticular reason but several inpaticular. It is French and they do not speak French here. I am jealous of people who speak a second language, I feel inferior. Here I have to speak French, I have no choice. It is France, and Europe. A little corner of the EU in the Carribean. A strange detour of a political border but one that works for my advantage, no need for visa or strange currency or work permit. It is a Carribean island, I have never been to this part of the world before, a new place. Time to explore.

I observed two days of Three Star White water kayak training and assessment with coach and assessor Bruce Jolliffe. This was part of a poorly advertised SCA scheme to give subsidised training to club coaches. (The events were mentioned in several places but their dates and locations were hidden away in a tricky to find part of the SCA’s coaching calendar.) I observed it in the hope of becoming a three star assessor and picking up coaching and paddling tips. We went on the Grade 1 occationally 2 River Teith on Saturday and the Grade 2 River Stanley.

We started on the flat with a breathing exercise to help us get good posture. Then some forward paddling commenting on the elements of good forward paddling. We moved onto backwards paddling looking at the difference in where our paddles entered and exited the water compared to forward paddling. The point was made that backwards paddling is a good warm up as it makes use of shoulder muscles not used by forward paddling. The exercise was given of paddling backwards in a circle and the students were allowed to practice that a bit and work out how to do it reliably. There was then the assessment of paddling backwards in a figure of 8, we had three students and two of them were the bhoys to paddle around.

We then paddled a bit downstream, this gives some time for the students to reflect on what they have just done.

At the first rapid we looked at break ins. The students were allowed some time to play then given individual questions to find an answer to “what speed should you go at for a break in?”, “what angle to go at?” “where do you leave one body of water and enter another?”. We had some discussion from that.

I was given the exercise of working out how many strokes it took to do a ferry glide. I did 12 paddling all the way across and 4 with a stern rudder. I was given the feedback to have my arms within a box position of my body (so the paddle is not so far behind me) and use more body rotation which would get more power transfer.

We covered river signals, we were advised against using paddles because they are easily mistaken for just moving paddles around (I fully agree with this). We were advised to acknowledge river signals by making the same one back to the signaller. We did some eddy hopping to show the beginnings of river leadership. He also lead us down a section with his position on the river being far to the outside of the turn, this was for leadership to be able to see around the corner, if being led in such a situation it isn’t always necessary to follow the same river course.

After lunch we did some throwbag practice on land. Starting by just throwing the bag without rope, then throwing the rope into a circle target. We did some re-throws too by collecting the rope into loops in our palms and throwing those, this is less reliable than a clean throw.

Back on the water we did braces. Bruce’s braces were very dynamic with a lot of body movement and the paddle skulling over the surface of the water. He finished with his nose on the front of his deck, as if coming up from a roll. This will take some getting used to. The point was made that high braces are likely to rip your arm out of your shoulder socket.

Rotation was also a key element of the draw stroke ont the move (and hanging draw). To achieve it you need to straighten the leg on the side you are rotating towards.

Similarly for an eskimo rescue there was a lot of rotation and nose being kept to the deck. We also practices eskimo rescues with a paddle (rather than with a boat’s bow). If the rescuer grabs you by the hand wait for them to put your hand on the paddle before rolling up. In practice eskimo rescues with a paddle are very rarely done. Then we did the eskimo rescues on moving water to test it at a 3 star level.

Throwing a throwline to a capsized swimmer was combined with deep water rescues. For my deep water rescue I put a boat on my arm to empty the water and then over the bow of my boat. He turned the boat over and continued to turn it back upside down onto the bow of his boat. He said this reduced lifting weight. (I’m yet to try it, I don’t think my technique has much lifting, and I’m sure I remember Dave Rossiter showing it to me for my FS&RT even though Jason insists Dave has long since changed his technique.)

We did a recipricol teching practice of draw on the move where students were infront of each other and used draw stroke on move as part of overtaking each other.

We did towing with slings and contact towes. He advised us to keep the sling untied because it could be a snag hazard (I’m not convinced by this, it’s not a snag hazard in my pocket).

He did an exercise where the students had to work out how to turn a boat in a circle with only one blade. Then they had to move the boat forward with the same stroke and work out what the difference was. (The answer is edge and where pressure on the stroke.)

Then we had some fun at Thistlebrig, the assessor got out first and wrote his de-brief notes then chatted to each person who all passed.

In my lengthy quest to get bits of paper saying I can coach I did my Moderate Water Endorsement – White Water with Kim Bull. There were three of us doing a day of training then a day of assessment.

We started off with him doing four short coaching sessions with us on ferry gliding. They covered the four fundamentals and the four teaching styles. Connectivity/guided discovery – where are you touching your boat and order those places from most to least important. Power transfer/practice – try at 30%, 40% and 50% effort. Posture/command – ferry glide and imagine there’s a string out of your head pulling yourself up. Feel/self check – think how it feels as you paddle across.

Next the three of us students did sessions on breaking in/out for each other. Sam did a session on stern rudder break ins and us to feel where the pressure is. I did a session on imagining it was a slalom, visualising the strokes needed then checking they were doing that. It turned into guided discovery when I was asked if bow rudder or stern rudder was better answer: bow rudder is for slalomists because you can turn it into a forward stroke) so we explored that along with the angle of the blade in the bow rudder (90 degrees to the current, not relative to the boat).

After lunch we moved down the river and Kim did a session on stern rudder break ins. This is not something I’ve come across before but apparently it’s the best way for beginners and others to break into the current. The stern rudder required feels a lot like a bow rudder, just further behind the boat. It’s not as sudden as a bow rudder and it does more than a support stroke.

We looked at coaching leadership, when we are making decisions on how to do a rapid we need to be aware of the process that lets us make that decision so we can share it with others who will then learn to be river leaders.

One more session from each student, tactics of ferry glides, s-bend break out and ins and I did a session on surfing a wave (which we didn’t really manage, tricky wave).

The next day was assessment day. 6 canoeists turned up. All in dry suits and with their own river boats, was this a sign they knew how to tackle basic rapids already? We each had to do two sessions both of 45 minutes. I hadn’t had much inspiration the night before on sessions and was still pondering what to do when one of them asked what a draw stoke on the move is. So I quickly improvised a session on just that, using a fairly smooth rapid and shouting “rock” at them to get them to react with their draw. For my second session I did the visualising slalom which I had done the day before, focusing more on getting them to have confidence in their break in. Turns out people with dry suits and river boats aren’t necessarily great paddlers.

I was told my assessment sessions were both very good and I would have passed. Alas I haven’t done enough coaching hours in the required environment to be able to pass so this was just for experience and I’ll need to do it again.

We used the River Tyne in northern England. Basic grade 1 maybe 2 rapids. Much talk of access restrictions, hassles from anglers and jealousy about freedom in Scotland. MWE is a useful course, not too lengthy, which brings together 4-star river leadership and level 2 coaching.

I did some training with Chris Dickinson of Spean Bridge. I don’t get enough opportunities to get onto higher grade white water rivers and it was great fun to try some new rivers with people who are enthusiasic about the sport. Unlike with low level coaching courses which are often populated with people who work for councils, the leadership awards are generally for people who are strongly into canoeing. 5 Star Leader is pretty similar to 4 Star Leader but on heavier water.

We started out on the River Roy and ended up doing the entire length of it. The rain was on much of the day and the water was rising throughout. While at 4 star level you have four or so hand signals, at 5 star water grades (3-4 with some 5) the chances of needing to communicate complex commands at distance is much higher and we were given a list of about 20 commands to find signals for. We did some skills which I found very easy, maybe the slalom that I’ve done means I can put my boat on a desired wave on demand without having to think about it. We also did some foward paddling tuition which most of the other paddlers had never done but is the sort of thing I do every day in a racing boat. So crossing over disciplines does help a lot. Curious that my skills were marked as being very high when on my 4 star assessment they were considered my weak point, maybe I’ve improved a lot with more hours on the water recently or maybe there’s just a high degree of chance. On an especially large wave in a gorge section I was folling a paddler who capsized and swam which put me off at just the wrong time that I was soon in the water too, although I tried a roll a few times the water was too airated for it to work and I came out, most disappointing. By the end of the day the river was in spate and we had to paddle fast to get to the egress before it became too dangerous. The get out involved using microeddies behind trees and a steep climb up banks with roaps, quite an impressive team effort.

The evening was spent discussing interesting topics like catchment areas and flow rates and finding rivers.

Spean gorge was our paddle on day two and was a large river in lovely surroundings. We did some rescue scenarios which are always worth practicing. At the grade 5 rapid I had another capsize but made the roll which kept me happy. My leadership wasn’t as good as I had hoped, it’s hard to find the balance between instructing people and giving them free rein within boundaries, on coaching and leadership courses such as this people are usual feel the need to follow orders rather than use their own experience, on real paddles the opposite is true with experienced paddlers. We learned an interesting double roll, if you feel your first roll is failing you can swap the paddle blade round quickly and use the momentum to help you roll up on the other side. I’ve tried this in a pool since and you have to be very quick and preferably have nose and ear clips to stop your head filling with water. We also did a draw stroke on the move which is something I should practice more. We learnt why hanging draws are a bad idea, there’s a risk of objects in the water hitting the paddle, I’m glad of this since I never saw the point of a hanging draw anyway. We covered an eddy spin move which is using eddies to spin your boat quicky and gracefully so you can get a view of the complete river without losing too much forward momentum. Finally we stopped and listened to the sound of nature and considered ourselves lucky for being canoeists who can see it close up from a view few others can.

All good fun and very interesting. I highly recommend Chris as a coach. Now I just need to find 30 paddling days on high grade white water to be able to pass the 5 star assessment.

Today I received my certificate for BCU UKCC Level 2 Coach. This means I am now qualified (according to the BCU) to coach canoeing in sheltered water. Of course I’ve been doing this for the last couple of years anyway but I do feel a lot more capable now I’ve gone through the courses. It is a lot of hassle though and a lot of time (I did my Level 2 training over a year ago).

The Training

I don’t remember much about this, it was over a year ago and it was very cold, possibly not best done at the end of November. There were four days of training, some classroom based, one pool based session and plenty of outdoor sessions. There’s some new teaching styles, a breakdown of practice styles and an emphasis on observation and improvement rather than following a pre-set plan.

The Other Bits

Between training and assessment there are a load of pre-assessment tasks. Managing the paperwork, finding courses and people to help with these is a significant undertaking. The BCU’s paperwork is full of mistakes and inconsistencies as usual which doesn’t help.

The first task is a supporting module which means three hours of computer slides, in this case about coaching children and young people. Not terribly interesting, would have been more useful if there actually were some young people to coach rather than just slides explaining what menarche is.

You have to do a course in safeguarding children. Just finding where this course is being held is a struggle, I was pointed at a web page that listed dates from previous years but no future dates. Hidden in SportScotland’s website under a link for 2009 was the dates for 2010. Another three hours of not very interesting computer slides and exercises. Only interesting thing was noting that the British people there were far more paranoid about paedophilia than the continental Europeans in the room.

Then there was the Long Term Paddler Development web module. This website was full of so many inconsistencies, typos, missing text and repeated text that I sent a complaint to the chair of the SCA coaching committee (no reply), the SCA coaching coordinator (who told me I could find the answers in a book, despite everything saying the answers are on the website) and the BCU (who said they incorporated my long list of corrections and will review the site, we’ll see). The quiz to pass the module can only be attempted once every 24 hours and because it asks questions that don’t have answers on the website I had to fill it in about a dozen times before I passed. The content is minimal too, I can see the point of being aware that top athletes start as children and vary their training with age until they become elite but that could be covered in one diagram. Adding on recreation to the mix is an obvious late attempt to make it relevant to the majority of canoeists (non competitors) which doesn’t work at all. Very frustrating and a complete waste of time.

First aid training was interesting and fun. Having an outdoors course is important.

The most important bit is the six progressive sessions. Finding punters to follow the sessions is difficult and finding a mentor who is suitably qualified and has the time to watch and review the sessions plus go over all the paperwork is tricky too. After a couple of false starts I did get a group going (the trick is to get them to pay in advance, else they won’t commit). Writing lesson plans is surprisingly time consuming but a useful exercise in getting good sessions.

On top of that there is another 10 hours of kayak and 10 hours of Canadian coaching to do. Easy enough since I’ve been running club nights this year and doing various trips.

The Assessment

The assessment at Glenmore Lodge starts the day before with a session collecting the multitude of paperwork together. After going through it all I discover I’m missing my supporting module certificate, instant fail. You have two sessions with real students. Although the paperwork says you will be contacted before to work out what students you have and what sessions to plan for, this isn’t true. We were told the night before and I spent a late night planning. You are meant to show a good range of teaching styles, observation and all the other necessities of running a good session. In the end I pitched some stuff too high for the students and didn’t show good observation. Then on my personal skills I ended up not being able to control a Canadian on a windy loch, turns out I’m not a very experienced Canadian canoeist, shame I had to find out on the assessment.

So a few months later I did another assessment in Wales. They also didn’t tell us what to expect beforehand so I planned a couple of sessions which didn’t get used. Instead we met the students on the morning and did the sessions after 20 minutes planning time. Strangely they went much better, I was able to put my knowledge of slalom to good use. One student was notably cheeky (“I’m a three star paddler”, “I’m warmed up now”) which helped because I could show her what she didn’t know.

However I didn’t do the warm up before moving boats. I also didn’t bother with helmets for anyone since it was flat water. Doing warm up before moving boats is logical (moving boats is the most strenuous part of these sessions) but I’ve never seen any professional or amateur coach do it. Likewise helmets for flat water seem excessively hassleful but I guess you have to cover your back and there might be hidden objects in the water. After arguing the points the assessor took pity and passed me.

After several weeks of asking I got a replacement from the SCA for the supporting module certificate I had lost on my first assessment. This was then sent back to the SCA along with all the rest of my certificates so they could sign me off as having enough certificates. What a messy system. It then took 3 months for the BCU to send me the final coaching certificate. I wonder what they spend three months doing.

Conclusion

I’ve definitely become a better coach from doing the courses. The mess of paperwork is horrible. The amount of bits that need done is a hassle, but I’m not sure what one I’d remove. Oh yes, Long Term Paddler Development, get rid of that for sure.

The latest revelations sent to RiddellLeaks have revealed the inner discussions of the High Commission in Sierra Leone. Having not resolved their incorrect e-mail address after the previous shocking leak new e-mails keeps coming into our leakers address, riddell@gmail.

Today’s leaked e-mail shows how the High Commission is trying to influence the democratic process of Sierra Leone by seeking a meeting with officials regarding their road widening scheme. Not only is the British High Commission involved in this foreign interfearence in a soverign state but the Irish Department of Foreign Affairs is involved too and an unspecified wing of the EU. Western corruption at it’s worst!

(OK, nothing very interesting really in this e-mail except 1) FCO continue to send e-mails to the wrong e-mail addresses even once I’ve already informed them 2) Interesting confirmation at the extent China is investing in Africa, “China Railway Seventh Group” are doing the road widening, I wonder what they want in return. 3) Impressive how putting “URGENT” in the subject of an e-mail means I automatically ignore it, checking my inbox I’ve been getting these for the last couple of months.)

The UK parliament has voted to increase tuition fees for students in England. I feel very sorry for England’s future students.

As an English matter this affects the affairs of Scottish MPs in two ways, firstly the massive reduction for teaching in English unis will get passed on to the Scottish budget. Secondly Scottish MPs have constituents who are English students who will pay these fees. There is no way this vote could be seen as in any way beneficial to Scotland so any Scottish MP should either abstain or vote no. Unless they were voting as directed by their whip rather than for the good of their constituents.

Here’s the voting record. Naturally the SNP members present all voted against. So did Labour. My own MP, Ian Murray made a spectacularly bad political point which he claimed was a Point of Order. I shall now slag him off on Twitter because that’s how modern politics works. Tory boy Mundell voted for the rise.

Lib Dems, as is their style, couldn’t make up their mind. For English tuition fees: Michael Moore, Jo Swinson, Mike Crockart, Malcolm Bruce, Danny Alexander, Alistair Carmichael. Against English tuition fees: Alan Reid, Menzies Campbell, Charles Kennedy. Interesting to see the former party leaders, presumably with nothing to lose, voting for the sensible thing. Those wanting promotion and junior government posts voting against their election promises. Shame.